Okay, I know this tale is beyond corny, but I couldn’t resist the title, especially as it’s a comedy. This is a mixture of time travel and alternate reality story lines thrown in the melting pot along with a little TV humour. Pick holes in the facts all you like, it’s only purpose is to make you smile. PS please let me know if it works! All characters remain the property of DC Comics, I just borrowed them (for purely non-profit reasons of course) on the understanding that they’ll be returned unblemished when I’m done with them. *** Bat to the Future by Joolz *** Babs sat at her computer terminal and sighed heavily. She had been trying to hack into the Swiss bank account of a crooked financier for four hours, though a number of interruptions from some of her ‘friends’ in search of information from her vast resources had not helped matters. Her glasses had slipped down her nose and she nonchalantly pushed them back into place. Her back and shoulders ached from being perched in the same position for too long so she stretched her long arms above her head and felt the vertebrae in her spine adjust themselves. It sounded a little like popcorn going off in the pan, she thought to herself. Aloud, she mumbled, “I’ve been sitting here too long.” Babs lowered her arms and placed them on the wheels of her chair, pushing down hard to raise her backside off the seat. She knew the dangers of sitting in the same position too long; getting pressure sores on the backside was not a pleasant prospect. As she pondered over the benefits of continuing or giving up, her thoughts Were interrupted by an explosion of sound behind her. Quick as ‘The Flash’ she whirled around in her chair, escrima sticks already poised for defense, as the level twelve proximity alert screeched out. Babs was ready for the expected attack, but as she saw the invaders right there in the room, her jaw dropped and she proceeded to double over in a fit of laughter. “Holy time travel Batman, what just happened?” “I’m not sure, Robin, but I don’t think it was a good idea for you to play with that time machine we discovered in the clock tower!” “Where are we?” “The questions is not where, but when.” “Holy twenty-first century Batman!” “You said it, Boy Wonder.” Babs sat staring at the pair in front of her and thought at first she was seeing things. Batman and Robin stood back to back surveying the room around them. Though Batman looked more like a clown, with his underwear over his costume. Robin wasn’t much better, with the shortest pair of shorts possible and his hands on his hips, he looked a little bit camp. “What the hell…” she began to mutter as she realized that Bruce looked twenty years younger and who, at first glance, appeared to be Tim Drake now looked more like… “It can’t be… Dick?” Babs looked at the face of a boy she had known a long time ago. Robin looked at her for the first time and didn’t recognize her, but was shocked to hear his name called. “H…how do you know my name?” “Who are you?” Batman demanded to know. Aside to Robin he spoke in a low voice, “She’s armed and could be dangerous, she laughs like a villain.” “I’m ready for anything, Batman!” Robin exclaimed with enthusiasm. Babs didn’t quite know what to do or say next. She assumed that the pair had come from another dimension, but then maybe she had finally lost her marbles after all and was seeing things. “It’s me, Babs… I mean Barbara Gordon.” “Holy Batgirl!” Robin yelled. “You said it.” Batman replied. “Barbara, you look different, what’s going on here?” “You tell me, this is my apartment and you are both twenty years younger than you should be and wearing what look like fancy dress outfits.” “Robin, I think we might have landed ourselves in a tight spot.” “I think you’re right Batman.” “Will you two give it a rest - we all know each other’s name.” “My apologies Barbara, but this is a strange predicament. We appear to be in the right place… but at the wrong time.” “Holy cow! You’re right Batman.” Babs groaned. She wasn’t sure which planet the pair were from, but doubted it was this one. “Let’s start over shall we? Why don’t you tell me what happened from the beginning.” “Well it was like this,” Robin began, “We captured a professor by the name of Julian September. He had invented a cross-dimensional time travel machine and used it to make a fortune for himself by gambling on future events he knew would happen, because he had been there and seen it for himself. Well after we had him safely under lock and key, thanks to your father, I decided to figure out how it worked. The next thing I know we end up here.” “That’s the last time you get to play with anything that uses batteries,” Batman muttered. Before any of them could continue, there was an almighty crash as a black clad figure smashed through a window and somersaulted to the floor. Batman and Robin immediately leapt to action, ready to attack the intruder. Nightwing blazed into the room and before he could find out what was gong on, Batman and Robin pounced on him. Bop! Slam! Pop! Biff! Nightwing stood with the Caped Crusader in an arm lock and holding Boy Wonder up from the scruff of his neck. “Babs?” “Don’t ask,” she groaned, as Batman and Robin tried to swing at Nightwing with flailing arms. “I was in the neighbourhood and I heard the proximity alarm go off. Are you okay?” “I’m fine, put those two down will you, they’re harmless.” Nightwing dropped them in a heap on the floor with Babs telling them that he was a friend. “Batman we must be in a different universe. Friends don’t come in through the door, they crash through the window instead.” “Robin, I think you may be right.” Turning to Babs, Batman said, “I think we should be returning to our own time line, Batgirl.” “That’s a good idea,” she replied. Robin was holding a small spherical object that looked like a magic eight ball and shook it. When nothing happened, he looked puzzled. “Holy jeopardy!” He exclaimed, as he realized the machine was no longer working. “All I did before was switch it on and press the red button.” “Here let me have a go,” Batman snatched the machine from his junior partner. Batman shook it, pressed the red button and … nothing happened. “Oh, shit!” Babs sighed and said, “Here, let me take a look.” Batman looked at her a little confused. “Do you know about cross-dimensional time travel machines?” Nightwing sniggered at this; meanwhile Babs pushed her chair towards Batman. He looked at her strangely and tilted his head to one side. “That’s an unusual office chair. Things have definitely advanced in the twenty first century.” For the first time Babs realized that neither Batman nor Robin had any idea she couldn’t walk. “Hey, that’s enough. Nobody makes fun of Babs’ wheelchair, I don’t care what dimension you’re from,” Nightwing interjected. “Wheelchair?” Batman and Robin exclaimed in unison. Babs cringed. “Oh, shit.” “Barbara dear, are you ill?” “No. I’m not ill.” “But why else would you be using a… a wheelchair?” Nightwing was getting a little impatient with the naďve pair and muttered Something under his breath. “Because I can’t walk. I was shot in the back and paralyzed as a result.” “Oh my goodness,” said Batman. “You poor dear, that’s terrible. Who on earth did this to you?” “The Joker.” “What? Joker had a gun? He doesn’t have one in our dimension, just a taste for bad jokes and green hair dye. I can’t believe he shot a lady.” “Look, I think it’s about time you two got back to your own planet…” Nightwing started. “Dimension!” Robin interrupted. “Whatever. Let Babs take a look at that machine and let’s get you back where you belong.” Batman handed the sphere to Babs who studied it closely. She placed it in her lap and wheeled over to her desk. Opening a drawer, she pulled out a tool kit and popped open the casing of the sphere. “There are a few loose wires in here, which idiot let Dick play with electrical items?” “HEY!!!” Both Robin and Nightwing protested at her jibe. Then looked at each other as the penny dropped. They looked carefully at each other and cried out in tandem, “Hey! You’re me!” “Cool,” Nightwing grinned. “Holy cow,” Robin added. Babs went to work on the sphere whilst Robin inspected Nightwing’s costume more closely, much to the elder Dick’s amusement. Batman meanwhile watched Babs as she worked. “So I guess your Barbara is still Batgirl,” Babs said without looking up. “Erm… yes.” “Good,” she replied. “When you get back, do me a favour… tell her not to go opening doors without checking who’s there first.” Batman looked at her and thought he understood what she was getting at. “I’ll tell her.” “Thanks,” she replied. He felt funny at that moment. It was as if for the first time the situation he was in felt real. No witty comments sprung to mind like they usually did. “Is there anything that can be done… I mean to help you walk again?” he asked her. She shook her head, slowly. “No. It’s okay though, I’m okay. I wasn’t for a while... when it first happened, but I learned to live with it ... eventually.” She paused for a moment. “Nearly done.” Babs made one or two adjustments to the connections inside the sphere. “I have no idea how this works, but I think it’s back together again.” Batman watched carefully as Babs put the case back on. Suddenly an idea came into his head. “Barbara, I hesitate to suggest this but … you could return with us … and then use the machine to leap forward to the time you were shot and prevent it from ever happening.” Batman looked at her hopefully, sure that she would take him up on his offer. Why wouldn’t she? Who would want to stay crippled for the rest of their life if they had the chance to go back and change things so they could be normal again. For a fleeting moment Babs thought about it. What it would mean to be whole again; to be able to fly through the sky again with Dick at her side; to be able to just jump up and stretch out her legs and run. Then a dose of reality struck her. She knew that however tempting that seemed to be, it was no longer who she was. Those events had changed her, they had made her stronger. They had made her strong enough to be able to say no. “Thank you for the offer, but if I go back and change things, who is going to be here to fix the sphere when you show up? You’d be stuck in this dimension forever.” Nightwing smiled for a second then added, “Yeah and who would be here to ensure Black Canary doesn’t get herself into too much trouble, or to take care of me after Blackgate? Who would find all the information that every superhero this side of the sun relies upon? Who would be here to pick up the pieces of everyone else’s life and fix them back together?” Babs looked at him and as she met his reassuring gaze, she knew she would never go back. She knew that the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow held no magic, the real reward in life was the journey there and the people you traveled it with. Batman turned and smiled, realizing the important role she played in this dimension despite her disability. “We understand, Barbara.” Robin turned to his other incarnation and gave him a thumbs-up for his little speech. “Well, if this works we probably won’t be back again, so good luck. I hope the two of you will be very happy together.” Batman said winking at Babs as he picked up the sphere. “It was very nice to meet you,” Robin said to Babs and then turned to Nightwing saying “…and me.” Both Babs and Dick, senior, groaned at Dick, junior. Batman shook the sphere and pressed the red button. As the pair began to disappear, Babs heard Batman cry out, “Don’t worry, Barbara. I’ll pass on your message.” “Whew! Thank God they’ve gone.” Dick was relieved that the Dynamic Duo had made it back to their dimension. Babs smiled and nodded. “You know, I don’t think they were as naďve as they Made out.” Dick popped off his mask and lay it on the desk. “True.” He knelt beside her. “Tell me… were you tempted even a little by their offer?” Babs sighed. “Sometimes I think I would like nothing better than to wave a magic wand and restore what I lost. Then I think of all the things I’ve done since and wonder if it is simply the way things were meant to be. We get thrown into a situation that we don’t like, but need to be in to prevent more tragedy in the long run. If I hadn’t been paralyzed, I would never have become Oracle and that’s a scary thought. I just realized how comfortable I am being me.” “Then you should know how comfortable we all are with you being you.” He smiled at her. “You could have persuaded me to go with them, then you could have had me back as I used to be. You could have had Batgirl.” He nodded. “True, but then I wouldn’t have who I really want. I thought I loved Batgirl, but I have come to know and love someone who is so much more than Batgirl or Oracle. It’s you I want … Barbara Gordon.” With that he leaned over, wrapped his arms around her and then they kissed. The End