Fighting for a Nobel Cause
By The Seitz (no1swinger@hotmail.com)

***

BAM!

The two heads that had been scant millimeters from a kiss quickly spun 
in the direction of the sound, and the two sets of eyes that had been 
locked in a pre-kiss lovey dovey swoon type look hardened into glares 
as they regarded the source of their interruption.

"What in the hell do you two want?" Nightwing asked, knowing full well 
he had the support glare of the Oracle behind him.

Batgirl shrugged, and then removed her mask.  "Ask Robin." she told 
them.

The boy wonder freed his cape from the windowsill and turned to face 
his friends and partners, well, they were at least still his partners.

"Dude!" he exclaimed, ripping his own mask off, "We need your help!"

"For?" The wise and all knowing Oracle asked.

"It's for Cass." Robin said, jerking a thumb in said Cass' direction.  
"For the whole making up her lost childhood thing that we've been doing 
off and on."

This quirked Nightwing's eyebrow, he had gotten to do any of that yet.  
"What's up?" he asked, hoping that this was worth what he may be giving 
up.

"She's never seen any of the original Star Wars movies!" Robin 
exclaimed with an urgency that only a 16 year old Star Wars fan could 
muster upon learning of such an outrage.

Returning from the kitchen where she had snagged an apple, Batgirl 
shrugged.

Nightwing however, did not share the girl's indifference towards the 
situation.  "No way!" he exclaimed, completely forgetting the wonderful 
possibilities he could have been in about this time.  "This has to be 
fixed!  Babs, can we borrow your collection and TV for the next nine 
hours?"

Luckily Barbara Gordon was also a rabid Star Wars fan.  She had already 
transferred herself to her chair and was rooting through her movie 
collection.  "Ung." She grunted, which, in Star Wars language 
translates to, "Hurry up and help me prepare the perfect 'watch Star 
Wars for the first time' atmosphere so we can help our young friend who 
needs to watch Star Wars for the first time!"

Cassandra Cain stood back and watched her three friends literally 
transform Babs' living room into a movie sanctum.  She would have stood 
wide-eyed and slack jawed but she was still eating her apple and it 
wasn't becoming for a young lady dressed in a Bat costume to eat an 
apple wide eyed and slack jawed.  Alfred had taught her that.

"Is everything ready?" Dick asked.

"It's all good on my end," Babs answered

"Yep."  Tim exited the kitchen lugging along a lot more popcorn than 
necessary for nine hours.  Cassandra looked down at her apple.

"Great!"  Dick clapped his hands together and moved to the couch.  
"Throw in 'Empire Strikes Back' and we can get this party started!"

"You can't start in the middle!" Tim yelled.  "She needs to see the 
first movie!"

"We can abridge that one and explain what happened during the previews 
for Empire."

"But the first one is the best movie!"

Dick scoffed at his younger counterpart and fiddled with the remote.  
"It is not.  Empire is."

Tim about dropped the popcorn.  "You are such a dork." He said.  "You 
think Empire is better than 'Star Wars'?"

"Yeah!  It's got everything you need.  Han encased in carbonite, Luke 
getting his ass handed to him, and the Empire kicking but and taking 
names."

"Only you Grayson," Barbara piped up, "a superhero, could be happy when 
the villain wins in a movie."

"Yeah!" Tim agreed.  "Listen to your girlfriend Grayson!"

"And you!" Babs continued, pointing at Tim, "You're about the only one 
I know that would be so darn traditional that you would have to love 
the story that started all the other ones."

"Well then Miss Oracle of the movie world," Dick chided.  "What *is* 
the best 'Star Wars' movie out there!"

"'Return of the Jedi.'" Miss Oracle of the movie world said smartly.

Dick dropped the remote.

Tim dropped the popcorn.

And then the assault began.

"'Return of the Jedi?!'"

"You're crazy!'"

"It figures that the information guru would like the worst movie!"

"*Impulse* isn't even that bad!"

"I can't even see why I was ever attracted to you!"

"Fine!" Barbara interrupted.  "We'll settle this with an outside 
source."

Dick raised an eyebrow.

"An outside source being?"

"Clark had monitor duty," Babs explained wheeling in the direction of 
her control room, Tim and Dick closely following her.

Not one of them noticed the apple resting alone on the windowsill.


********

There was something unusual going on in the Watchtower as Batman 
materialized in the teleporter.  He stopped and listened.  The place 
was a little louder than usual.  Voices trailed up and down the 
hallway, and while Batman couldn't make out what was being said, but he 
could tell by the tones of the voices that it was being said angrily.  
That was odd, while the JLA was hardly a band of super-friends, 
everyone generally got along with everyone else, the only exception 
being Batman himself, who got along with no one.

The voices only got louder as he approached the meeting room.  When the 
door opened, the sight alone was enough to make the Dark Knight step 
back in the closest thing to shock he had felt in a while.

The Justice League was assembled in the room but no one was sitting.  
Also, every member was arguing with everything they had in them with at 
least one or two other members.

Batman blinked and looked closer.  Superman was using way too many hand
gestures to try and get his point across to Aquaman.  Wonderwoman was 
yelling at the top of her lungs at the Flash, who was both speaking and 
shaking his head at superspeed.  It was when he could finally make out 
individual sentences that Batman was able to discern what was being 
discussed.  Well, the sentences and the fact that J'onn had morphed 
into Darth Vader, Plasticman's head looked like a Storm trooper helmet, 
and Kyle had created his very own working lightsaber.  Against his 
better judgement Batman stood there for a moment and listened to the 
conversations.

". . .Vader was a warrior and then he is shown to be a weak old man!"

". . .had the best space battles ever!"

". . .wasthefunniestrobotI'veeverseeninamovie."

". . . No Eel the prequels were not better than any of them!"

Realizing that nothing productive was going to be done during this, and 
probably the next several meetings, Batman turned and headed back in 
the direction he came.

Not a single member of the JLA noticed he was ever there.

********

Cassandra Cain looked up when the teleporter in the batcave came to 
life, then gave a smile to her Mentor, who returned it with a nod of 
his head."

"Sad.  Why?" she asked.

"I'm not sad."

"Angry?"

Bruce pushed back the cowl and looked over his little Bat.  
"Frustrated." He told the girl.

Mulling over this information, Cassandra turned a worried eye up to 
him.  "My fault?" she asked.

"No."

"Oh.  Robin, Oracle, and Nightwing went crazy.  Came to cave for 
escape.  Bored." she explained with the logic only a fellow Bat could 
appreciate.

Bruce slumped into the chair next to her, remembering all of Barbara's 
lectures to him about how he never did anything with Cassandra.  "Want 
to go upstairs and watch a movie?" he asked, letting her brightening 
eyes and smile lift his own spirits.  After all, it *had* been a while 
since he'd seen "Enter the Dragon."

"We go!" Cass exclaimed as she jumped to her feet and helped Bruce to 
his.  "Batman?" she asked.

"Yes."

"No watch 'Star Wars.'"

"Fine with me." He agreed, and the two headed up the stairs to the 
Manor.

Later on, both certainly noticed that a certain English gentlemen left 
out a rather large bowl of popcorn for the two of them.

fin