You Can't Lose What You Already Have
by Lloyd T. Hayes (nightwing205@yahoo.com)

***

Descending into the cave, Dick was in deep thought.  Not only with what he was coming to tell Bruce but of his first visit down here.  He was only a nine year old kid and taking an oath he was still trying to keep.  He didn't really think Bruce expected him to keep that anymore, at least keep it to Bruce anyway.  Now he had to talk to Bruce about one last issue.  Babs had made him do this.  he might not be Dad in letter but he was in heart.  Bruce was, as usual, sitting at the computers running any number of variables on whatever he was working on.  

"Dick", was the only thing coming from Bruce's mouth.

"Hey.  I was justą stopping by.  Had some things I wanted to talk to you about".

"Problems in Bludhaven?"

"No, noą  Personal problems".

"Alfred is still with Timą"

"I didn't come here for Alfred, I came here to talk to you".

Batman slowly turned around and stared at Dick. 

"You can't make anything easy can you?"

No response

"Okayą okay, I know you're busy so I'll make this short.  Babs and I want to get married".

***

I haven't heard from Dick yet.  I guess I'm still expecting him to back out or either Bruce has him on some wild goose chase.  I wish he would let me tell Dad but he insists on doing it the old fashion way.  But then Dad would want it that way.  I've just finished fixing me a glass of tea to sit down at my station and become the information to the Gods, Oracle.  I'm just settling in when my perimeter alarms go off.  Looking into the monitor I see it is none other than my Dad.  He always has such lousy timing.  Sorta like a certain Bat I know.  

"Hey, Dad", I start out with while giving him a hug, "What brings you up to 'ye ole watchtower'?"

"Oh, nothing much.  I'm sorry but do I need an appointment to be in your schedule?", he said with a grin.

"You keep that up buster and you might", and a couple of laughs from us roll.

"To tell the truth I am here for a reason.  I have to ask you something but I don't want you to think I was prying".

"Wellą"

"I don't know, Babs, I worry about you and I just want to know straight from you".

"Okay, Dad, what is it?"

"Have you and Mr. Grayson set the date yet?"

***

Batman turned back towards the computer and started back to work.

"Nothing.  Not a smile, frown, or scowl.  Nothing.  Why did I even bother.  You know I gave you everything I had and then more.  I was your perfect partner until the Joker shot me.  It took me years to understand that but I get it.  You didn't want me to be hurt.  Well, Bruceą  excuse me, *Batman*, I'll leave you to your city.  Sorry that I intruded", and I turned to walk away.

"Dick, you are not intruding"

"Then what the hell am I doing?"

Batman stood up and walked over to a glass case and looked at the costume hanging by its threads.  He slowly ran his hand down the case.  I felt like such an idiot.  I should have seen it earlier but with all my anxiety over just trying to talk to Bruce, I forgot why he is the way he is.  And then much to my surprise, he started talking.

"Do you ever regret anything I said to youą that is before the Joker shot you?"

"Yeah, a little here and there.  I was nine when I moved in Bruce.  You told me straight up that you were not my father nor would you ever try to be.  I wanted that.  You treated me as an equal and I was thankful.  I grew up.  I'm sorry but it happens, you know?  You know what really pissed me off with the Joker was Two Face".

Bruce turned to look at me, "continue".  

I was 18 and got glanced by a bullet.  You fired me for that.  When I was ten I made a choice to save you or save an innocent's life and I chose yours.  That was after I had already had the hell beat out of me by his gang.  Yeah, you fired me but let me back in.  It was different then because it was, well, I hated that but part of me understood I was a kid.  Every kid hates being treated like a kid and I was no exception.  It doesn't mean kids don't understand everything that is going on.  You took me back and for eight years there was not even a hint that you would fire me, not even one little hint.  And I should know, I am the world's greatest detective", Not even a smile at that remark from him, "or second greatest.  All of a sudden, after all we went through together, Robin was fired".

Bruce just bowed his head then looked back at Jason's costume, "This didn't help matters then did it".

"No, it didn't.  Mom gave me that name.  Her little Robin was I.  It was like you wanted to rip my heart out and feed it to me".

"Part of me did".

Okay, I didn't expect that, "WHAT?!"

Turning to me, "I wanted to do everything possible to discourage you from playing hero and before you say anything, yes I know you weren't playing.  I knew you were the best there was, Dick, bar none which that includes me as well.  Alfred tried to give me a normal life.  I just couldn't do it.  Did you ever wonder whether my parents deserved the reverence I gave them?"

"Yeah but Alfred answered it for me.  He said that for all you have ever done has been more than enough for them but they did deserve everything you gave to the city because of them".

Nodding, "I could not have asked for better parents.  In the same breath I didn't know how to be one.  I tried with Jason.  My mistake with Jason was trying to make him into you".

"Bruce, you've said this before butą"

"Listen, this isn't easy for me so let me be okay?"

"Okay"

"Sorry, I just need you to know it all.  I tried to make him the 'you' I wanted you to be.  Let's face it, Dick, we were butting heads before the Joker shot you.  You were growing up no matter what I could do.  what really drew me to you was that I honestly believe that whether I was in your life or not you would have made it.  You had a strong spirit and you still do.  Jason did to.  I think I got to him too late.  He never had the parents you or I did.  His dad even was working for Harvey.  I tried to do with him everything I wanted to do with you.  The main thing beingą  that isą  never mind".

"Bruce, I know you said you wouldn't be my Dad but c'mon, you know you were".

"Maybe, but it's just I neverą"

"I do not, and I repeat, do not need a piece of paper telling me who my new Dad was.  People have tried and tried to separate us on more than one occasion.  They tried the 'he only likes little boys' approach, they tried the 'needing him for taxes' thing, and they even tried the 'must be using the bastard to pick up chicks' routine.  You beat them all", Chuckling, "in fact Batman even beat a few of them.  I didn't need anyone, and that included you, telling me who Dad was.  You might have insisted that you weren't but your actions spoke volumes".

Looking at the case again, leaning on it, and then closing his eyes, "Dick, I just don't want ą."

I couldn't help but smile at that, "Bruce, you pretty much suck at being a detective, you know that?"

Bruce didn't say anything but just tried that Batman glare.  Then I started laughing.

"Bruce, why did you fire me from being Robin?  Why did you try to hurt me be giving my name to another kid?  You get it?  You have no choice but to care.  You had no choice when a nine year old magnificent and incredibly good looking little boy entered your life years ago.  You have set yourself up to be hurt ever since then.  We might never have used the word 'love' in our household but it was apparent all the time.  There are a lot of kids out there who here it but never have it shown.  I can't promise something won't happen and my uniform will be up there besides Jason's.  All I can promise is that I'll be here for you whenever you need me".

"Okay.  I hope you and Barbara will be happy.  It won't be easy but you never liked the easy road to begin with".

"Thanks.  I have a few hours to spare.  You want me to go on patrol with you?"

"Normally yes but I have some personal things to attend to.  Go to Barbara".

"Okay.  I'll call you laterą", but Bruce was already gone.

"The cave.  He even manages to do that in the cave".

***

"Hey!", came the sudden cry within my home.

"Hey, yourself, short pants".

"Now Babs, I haven't worn short pants in a while".

"Yes, but I am here to remind you that you once did"

And so he pulled me in his arms and I said, "Guess who dropped by tonight?"

"Bruce?"

"Nope.  Dad.  He was wanting to know when we were setting the date".

"No".

"Yes".

"What did you tell him?"

"That he would simply have to wait until you talked to him".

"And he was fine with it?"

"Yeah.  He kinda had a funny smile about him but he dropped it.  He ordered Chinese so I've already eaten.  How did it go with Bruce".

"It went fineą sorta".

"What does that mean?"

"He talked about his parents and Jason mostly.  Found out some different things I didn't knową.  Okay, I probably did know but chose to ignore them.  But some of it wasą.  Strange".

"Like what?"

"It was likeą  he finally has realized his little boy has grown up".

Just then the roof sensors went off.  I looked at Dick and he just shrugged.  Looking at the monitors I saw I had another boy wonder to see tonight.  Tim was the only one who knocked.  Well, knocking in this sense of course meant he didn't try to make it past my alarms.  He let them go off and stood still for a couple of minutes to be sure I knew it was him.  Wish Dick and Bruce would learn that.  Yes, that is wishful thinking.

"Hey guys".

"Hey there, Bo.  What brings back to our fair city?"

"Bruce wanted me to drop this off", and handed Dick an envelope.

"What is it?  And don't give me that 'I don't know' look".

Smiling Tim simply said, "Okay I know but I wouldn't want to ruin it for you", and waved bye and was off.

After Dick opened it a smile beamed on his face.  Looking at him with a puzzled face he handed me the papers.  I couldn't help but shed a tear or two.  Okay, a bunch of tears.  It was adoption papers for Dick with a message attached that read:  "I might not be that great of a detective but I do realize when a mistake needs to be made up.   -Bruce".

Picking me up in his arms, Dick carried me to my command center.  Nightwing took the night off and Dick spent time with his oracle.

***

I haven't smoked in years but a cigar is definitely needed right now so I'm having one.  In a day or two a Mister Dick Grayson will be coming to talk to me about marrying my daughter.  I have to say at one time I would not have approved.  But that was before the other night.  I assume he'll be here in a few minutes to "brief" me on what is going on.

"Jim", as I nearly jump out my skin.

"I thought you said you wouldn't be scaring me like that anymore?"

"I lied".

"In all my years with you, I have never known you to make a joke".

He turned and walked outside before I could see him smile.  I soon followed suit with two cups of coffee.  We both began sipping from them.

"Not bad".

"Yeah, I know.  I still can't make it as bad as the station makes it but I'm trying", and this time he lets me see him smile.

"I talked to Nightwing tonight.  I hope I made sense to him.  I hardly made sense to myself".

"You tried and that's what counts.  Did you give him the papers?"

"Robin was taking them to him tonight at Barbara's place.  He should have them by now".

"The other night when you revealed yourself to me, you didn't seem shocked that I wasn't shocked".

"You are a great detective, Jim.  I figured you just ignored the facts so you didn't have to do anything about it".

"I guess that's why I tried to make it easy for you".

"Thanks.  Why did you decide to tell me?"

"If for some strange reason you didn't know, I wanted you to know what your daughter was getting into".

"And you thought I could stop her if I disapprove?"

"No.  but at least you would know and I wanted myą friend to know as well".

"Thanks, Batman, that meansą.", and he was gone.

"Ha, I hope we don't have to get use to an emotional Bat".

Then with a glance, I happen to see a piece of paper under his coffee cup.  It wound up being a note in which I laughed all the way into the house.  It simply read, "Don't count on it".

***

The End