Yes Virginia, You Have a Father
by Vicki Napier (VNapier@aol.com)

***

Bruce stayed with Dick as he slept through the rest of the evening and into the 
night.

Dick had been so emotionally drained and distraught that he had completely 
broken down. Bruce finally persuaded him to lay down and, thought Dick objected 
somewhat, got him to accept an injection of a mild sedative he found amongst the 
first aid supplies. Dick was still sleeping, but Bruce could tell he would be 
waking soon. Yes, he still knew his son well.

Bruce ordered Chinese food from a delivery menu he found on the refrigerator 
door. After the coffee fiasco earlier he decided it would be best to avoid the 
kitchen for anything other than the refrigerator and the sink. Cooking was 
definitely out.

Not long after the food arrived, Dick started to stir and awoke.

"Feeling better?" Bruce asked from across the room where he sat at the small 
dining table. Then added. "Kung Pao Chicken or Spicy Mongolian Beef?"

Dick sat up in bed, blinking in confusion, not fully awake. "Wh..What?"

"You've been out for almost six hours, but then you needed it. I ordered 
Chinese." Bruce answered and motioned at the food containers on the table with 
his chop sticks. "You've got to be hungry. I don't think you've had anything to 
eat since well before Helena broke the news last night."

"Helena? News?" Dick questioned, still not fully awake and slightly confused.

Then it suddenly came to him. "Oh, yeah, that news."

Dick got up from the bed and, running his fingers through his hair and 
scratching the top of his head, moved to the table where Bruce was sitting.

"God, what am I going to do Bruce?" Dick asked as he sat down across from Bruce 
and put his head in his hands. "It's an impossible situation."

"Difficult, but not impossible." Bruce said in a commanding but reassuring tone. 
"Here, have some chicken, and here's an egg roll, too. You need to eat something 
and then we'll try to figure out the best course of action for all."

Dick's head jolted up, staring at Bruce with his jaw hanging open. He had to be 
dreaming. Bruce should be going ballistic, yelling, lecturing, raging. Anything 
but sitting there calmly offering him an egg roll!

Bruce noticed Dick's shocked reaction to his behavior and knew there was some 
explaining to do. "Dick, I came to a realization this evening." Bruce started 
speaking in a low, humble voice as he looked Dick in the eye.

"I've missed you. I've missed us. By trying to keep you from being hurt, I hurt 
you more than anyone else ever could have, and for that I'm truly sorry." Bruce 
paused and then continued, an extremely sincere but amused half grin on his 
lips. "The way I've been since ... since I drove you away, I find it truly 
amazing that you trusted me enough to call me for this."

"I ... I.... I," Dick stammered, "I wasn't thinking too clearly." Immediately 
realizing how that sounded in light of Bruce's revelations, Dick quickly tried 
to explain, "I mean ... I mean it was ..." Bruce raised his hand to stop Dick's 
attempted explanation.

"Don't worry Dick, I understand. Like you said, you weren't thinking too 
clearly. Maybe instinct took over where common sense failed."

"Bruce, I didn't ...," Dick started, but Bruce quickly interrupted again.

"Dick, please. I know it's hard to believe, but I know what your trying to say." 
Bruce sat back in his chair. "I don't know exactly what's happened, but I feel 
like I'm finally seeing things clearly for the first time in years. It's almost 
like I can look back at the last few years through someone else's eyes and see 
for the first time what I've put you through. Up until now, it's like I was 
looking in from the outside and had no control over what I was doing." He paused 
to take a sip of tea.

"I shut you out of my life because it hurt so much when you left. I can see now 
that you only did what you had to do in reaction to my error in judgment. You 
left, not because you wanted to, not to hurt me, but because it was the only 
option I left you. Again, something I deeply  regret." Bruce searched Dick's 
eyes for some indication as to what impact his words had, but found only the 
same shocked confusion.

"Bruce," Dick asked almost shyly, "did you specify no MSG when you ordered 
this?"

Bruce just laughed and Dick, stunned, wondered how long it had been since he had 
heard that laugh. How very long it had been. He marveled at how good it sounded 
and realized how very much he had missed it.

"Don't worry, Dick, I'm not under the influence of anything."

Then Bruce got serious and tried again. "Dick, you were so upset and when I 
looked at you standing by the window trembling, I suddenly saw that little boy 
from so long ago who taught me how to care. I saw that little boy who wanted to 
sit in my lap and sleep in my arms after a bad dream. I saw that little boy that 
trusted and believed in me. I saw everything that I had lost and I knew that I 
truly wanted it back."

Bruce choked a little, and then added hesitantly, "I knew I needed that little 
boy back. Even, if now he's a man that I'm very proud to call my son." His eyes 
again measured Dick for any reaction that might indicate what the young man was 
feeling. 

Dick's stare dropped to the floor, not sure about the tears in his eyes and he 
whispered, "I miss that little boy too, and sometimes, I really miss the warmth 
and security of those arms he used to fall asleep in."

"Dick, I know that we don't always agree on things, methods and such, as well as 
other things. But that just means we are individuals. No two people agree on 
everything. But that doesn't mean that our disagreements have to continue to be 
angst ridden and adversarial, does it?" Bruce asked.

Bruce reached over and put a hand on Dick's shoulder, as Dick continued to stare 
at the floor. "This is a big step. There's been a lot of hurt and a lot of anger 
thrown around over the past few years, and that isn't going to disappear 
overnight. This is something that we are both going to have ...." Bruce was 
halted mid sentence as Dick's words interrupted.

"I Love You, Bruce."

Dick raised his head to meet Bruce's eyes. His voice quivering, "I never stopped 
loving you. I never stopped hurting over losing you. I just couldn't understand 
you." His eyes were wet with tears, but anger was beginning to glow there also.

"I'm sorry, Dick. I know I handled the situation badly." Bruce said very humbly, 
knowing that the words were hopelessly inadequate. It would take time for him to 
adjust to being open with his feelings again. But he also knew that he needed to 
do something to soothe the anger he saw growing deep from within his son.

It didn't work.

"Badly?" Dick stood up suddenly, yelling, his anger erupting with the force of a 
volcano that had been dormant for far too long.

"Do you have any idea what I went through because you handled the situation 
badly?" Dick paced across the room and turned toward Bruce as his anger 
continued to explode. "Do you know how deep down it hurt? Do you know how much I 
bled inside? Do you? Do you have any idea what it was like to lose you? To lose 
us?

Now totally out of control, Dick hurled the glass in his hand directly at 
Bruce's head. It passed so close to his temple that it left a traces of 
condensation glistening on the very ends of his hair, before shattering against 
the wall behind him. Bruce did not flinch. He knew that Dick would either miss 
him intentionally, or he would hit him intentionally, in a necessary act of 
desperation.

Either way he would trust Dick to know what was best for Dick. God only knewhe 
had been lacking in that department.

"I lost most of you when you took away the only life I had known since my 
parents died! I lost the rest of you when you got your "replacement" son! You 
took me in, gave me a new life, gave me a reason for living, and then, WHAM, you 
took it all away and left me with nothing! Nothing at all!" Years of anger, 
fear, frustration and confusion were boiling out of the abyss where they had 
long been stashed.

"Then I lost Kory! Then I lost the Titans!" Dick continued shouting at Bruce, 
his body trembling in unison with his voice. "Then I lost all faith in myself 
when I wasn't even good enough to do the job you trained me for!

His uncontrollable tirade continued as he paced back and forth like a caged 
animal at the opposite end of the room. "And for the second time in my life, I 
lost my father! Only this time he wasn't taken from me by force, he walked away 
from me by choice." The tears now flowed freely down Dick's cheeks. He was still 
shouting, but the anger was slowly being replaced by an incomprehensible pain. 
"For the second time in my life, I had my whole world ripped away
from me. For the second time in my life, I was alone. All alone." 

He stopped and with accusing eyes, he looked at Bruce and said softly, his voice 
now fully consumed with hurt and longing. "You promised me I would never be 
alone again. You promised me you would never leave me." Dick stood across the 
room from Bruce, trembling, long held-back tears coming in a steady stream.

Finding some sense of composure as he recovered from his angry onslaught, he 
returned to the table and sat down, again emotionally exhausted. Barely managing 
to squeak out the last words, "You promised me," his eyes boring into those of 
his father.

"I know," Bruce whispered softly, letting his eyes express the sorrow he felt.

Dick's tears slowly subsided, and for many minutes, he and Bruce just stared at 
each other letting their eyes do the talking for them both. For the first time 
in years there was no more anger, no more fear, no more sorrow. They both knew 
that, while it was by no means going to be an easy transition, they had finally 
found each other again, father and son.

Dick broke eye contact first, as his stare again returned to the floor. "I'm 
scared, Bruce." He began, his voice soft and sincere. "I really scared that I 
won't be a good father. I don't ever want to hurt my kids the way...." He 
hesitated, not wanting to weaken the bridge that was now between them.

Dick looked up at him as Bruce continued, "It's all right, Dick. I know I fell 
far short of what a good father should be. But no matter how badly I handled ... 
well, just about everything, there is something I want, something I need, to 
make sure you know." His next words ripped Dick with emotions he could hardly 
comprehend.

"I always loved you. I will always love you."

Bruce had said the words. Bruce had finally said the words that Dick's hearthad 
longed to hear for what had seemed an eternity. In his head, Dick hadalways 
known that Bruce loved him and that Bruce just wasn't the type to voice his 
emotions. But his heart had always longed to hear the words.

"I know, Bruce." Dick replied, smiling a smile that hadn't crossed his facein 
years. "Yes, you made some mistakes, but I always knew you loved me.  Even ...." 
he didn't finish, knowing that Bruce would know what he meant.

"In my opinion, you're going to make a perfect father." Bruce stated matter of 
factly, his eyes sparkling with pride. "From your parents, you learned how it 
should be done. And from me, you learned how it shouldn't be done. "He smiled 
warmly at Dick. "How could you possibly go wrong?"

"You know, its really weird, but I think its finally coming to me why you 
reacted the way you did to my being shot." For the first time ever, Dick had no 
anger or resentment over that topic. "I mean, my child isn't even born yet and 
I'm already feeling so damn protective it makes my teeth hurt."

"No, Bruce, you're wrong. I didn't learn how 'not' to be a father. Now I'm 
beginning to understand what you were feeling, what you were going 
through."Dick's eyes twinkled and that mischievous air that Bruce had not heard 
for too many years snuck into his voice as he added. "Although, a little more 
communication would have been appreciated."

"Point taken," Bruce nodded and smiled, "I'll be sure to work on that, too."

"But in the mean time, we have your little problem to evaluate." Bruce chose his 
words carefully, but knew there was no really easy way to say them. "Does she 
plan on having the baby?"

Dick's immediate reaction was that of his new found protective fatherly 
instincts. "Of course she's going to have the baby." He almost yelled and then, 
realizing that Bruce was making a perfectly valid point, added sheepishly. "I 
mean, she didn't come right out and say it, but if she didn't plan on having the 
baby, then why bother to tell me anything at all."

"That is probably a valid conclusion." Bruce breathed a sigh of relief that he 
had not already managed to sabotage their new found understanding.

Ever the analytical thinker, Bruce concluded, "So the situation basically 
is,she's pregnant, it's yours, she's going to have the baby, so in a few months 
you will be unwed parents of a new born baby. First off, I would think you will 
need to discuss with her the details of how you will be involved in thechild's 
upbringing." Dick looked at Bruce with an all to familiar determined look that 
usually meant that they were on the verge of another "disagreement."

"No, first off, no one said anything about being unwed." Dick paused as he 
instinctively braced himself for the onslaught he knew was about to come. "I am 
going to ask Helena to marry me. My child is not going to be born a bastard." He 
glared at Bruce defiantly, but instead of the verbal battle he expected, Bruce's 
next words we calm and concise and scared the living hell out of him.

"What about Barbara?"

Dick was so stunned, all he could do is sit there and look at Bruce. Afterwhat 
seemed hours, but was actually less than a minute, he stuttered."Wha... Wha.... 
What do you mean, 'What about  Barbara'?"

"I mean, what about Barbara?" Bruce raised his eyebrows and reiterated 
thequestion. "It's not like its a big secret how you two feel about each other. 
Alfred's even made a comment about it on an occasion or two."

"How... How... How we feel about each other?" Dick continued to stammer. "We're 
friends, that's how we feel about each other. What does that have to do with me 
asking Helena to marry me?"

"Friends?" Bruce asked, his eyebrows again raised. "Dick now your just being 
irrational. I know you and Barbara had a fling way back when. But then you were 
under age and she realized she had to call it off." Bruce noticed the deep blush 
that was engulfing Dick's face, but continued on.

"I have also noticed, that since you returned to Gotham from New York, and even 
after you moved here to Bludhaven, that you and she have become quite attached 
to each other again." Bruce said, in between bites of Mongolian beef. "In fact, 
as an astute observer of human behavior, I would have to conclude that the two 
of you are desperately in love, but for some reason refuse to acknowledge the 
fact to yourselves or anyone else."

"Bruce you don't know what your talking about," Dick retorted, somewhat 
irritated. "Barbara and I are good friends and that's all. Even though there was 
more than just friendship between us at one time, that's all there is now." 

"I don't want to fight with you Dick." Bruce put a hand on Dick's shoulder. "I 
just want you to consider everything before you make any monumental decisions. I 
just want you to ask yourself if you would being doing right by your child, and 
everyone else involved, if you denied your true feelings."

"I know what I have to do, Bruce." Dick said defiantly.

"Okay. Then there are the other issues to consider." Bruce said as he began 
analyzing the situation from Dick's determined prospective.

"Such as?"

"Such as, if I'm to understand correctly, Helena doesn't even know your name?" 
Bruce asked, but more or less already knew the answer.

"Well, no, but that's easy to fix." Dick looked at Bruce knowing the 
ramifications of what telling Helena his name meant. "Do you have a problem with 
that?" Dick asked, really not knowing what kind of reaction to expect from Bruce 
anymore.

Bruce remained silent for a moment and then chose his words carefully, "No, I 
would never ask you to keep that information from her. In the first place, it 
would be totally impractical and in the second place, I would never put you in 
that position." Looking Dick in the eye and mustering all the sincerity he 
could, Bruce said what he knew Dick wanted and needed to hear him say.

"There is no way for her to know who you are without her figuring out who Batman 
is, she's not stupid, so there's really no reason to even try to deny it. If you 
feel that your decision to marry her is what is best for you, than all I can do 
is support that decision in every way I can. And if that means letting her in 
the "family", then so be it."

Dick swallowed hard, knowing the sacrifice Bruce was making for him. "Thank you, 
Bruce. I really needed you to understand."