Yes Virginia, He's Just So Damn Irresistable
by Vicki Napier (VNapier@aol.com)

***

"Bruce," Dick sighed, exasperated. "I think I'm quite capable of climbing a few 
flights of stairs by myself. Really."

"I know you are," Bruce nodded in agreement, but continued to escort Dick up the 
stairs to Barbara's apartment.

Dick rolled his eyes and shook his head. "You know, I don't need to be watched 
over. Just because I took a little bump to the head doesn't mean I'm damaged for 
life." His voice took on a mischievous air while his expression tried to convey 
total harassment. "After all, ~that's~ what came between us in the first place, 
remember?"

Bruce shot Dick an evil grin. "Yes, but then you had ~only~ been shot. Now that 
you've decided to take up 'glass dodging' for fun, and not too well I might add," 
Bruce nodded his head in the direction of the bruise on Dick's temple, "you can 
use all the guidance you can get." It was Bruce's turn to feign harassment. “I 
mean really, Dick. Getting knocked out by a glass thrown by a 'girl'!" Bruce shook 
his head in mock resignation, speaking as if he were talking to himself. "I just 
don't know where I went wrong. Alfred and I will probably have to leave Gotham 
forever. We'll never be able to show our faces here again. Oh, the ~shame~ of it 
all."

Dick elbowed him in the ribs. "Cut it out, okay." Exasperated for real this time. 
"Geez, I think I liked you better when you had no sense of humor at all."

"Be careful what you wish for, Mr. Grayson," Bruce's blue eyes, once only grim and 
serious, danced with delight and frivolity.

"Just kidding. Oh, God, I was just kidding." Dick held his hands up in surrender. 
"Please, I'll do anything, just don't go back to that. Escort all you want. Or do 
you wanna carry me?" Dick's silly grinned immediately became an apprehensive 
frown. Bruce would realize he was just kidding? Wouldn't he?

Bruce raised his eyebrow. Dick took a big gulp, his eyes wide open in panic. 
Thankfully they had reached Barbara's door and he would not have to find out just 
how seriously Bruce might have taken his little facetious comment.

Dick raised his hand and was about to knock when Bruce gently grabbed him by the 
wrist. "Seriously though, Dick. I just want you to know that I'm proud of you and 
the life you've made for yourself." Bruce's voice was gentle, filled with the love 
and understanding that it hadn't possessed since Dick was a small child. "I know 
that things are going to be difficult from now on. But, I want you to know that 
I'm here for you. Whenever you need me. No matter what." Bruce released Dick's 
wrist. With a softer touch than could be imaginable from such a strong hand, he 
brushed the hair back from Dick's eyes, mindful his bruised temple.

"I love you, son." Bruce paused, hesitant on how to continue. "I just needed to 
tell you that."

Dick could swear Bruce was blushing slightly. Quietly he responded. "Thank you, 
Bruce. I love you, too."

Both men stood in awkward silence as they digested each others words. Bruce spoke 
first, alleviating the tension.

"Well, are you ready for round two, Rocky? Just remember to watch out for her 
throwing arm." Bruce's eyes and smile said more than any words possibly could. 
"And for goodness sake, son, don't say anything to upset her if she has a knife in 
her hand. Please. Dr. Leslie's low on medical supplies."

"You can bet on that one." Dick's smile was from ear to ear. "She would probably 
have me sliced, diced, julienne fried and up for sale on a K-Tel commercial before 
I could blink."

"I'll leave you two to talk," Bruce's smile almost as radiant as Dick's. "I have 
something I need to do, and I think you both could use some privacy." Bruce put 
his hand on Dick's shoulder, giving it a squeeze. With the wink of his eye, he 
turned and left, silently hoping his only son would start getting some breaks
instead of bruises out of life. With the line of work they were both in, Dick and 
Barbara were sure to have their share of trying times. But with the added 
complication of a child by another woman involved, he just hoped their 
relationship would be able to withstand the pressures.

***

Barbara had seen Bruce and Dick's arrival on her security monitors, but didn't 
want to intrude on what seemed to be a private moment. Of course she had done a 
double take when she thought she saw Bruce, Batman, blushing. She had to be 
mistaken. With the earthquake and its aftermath, her equipment was probably in 
need of some fine-tuning. Batman blushing? Yeah, right.

As soon as she saw Bruce turn to leave, she immediately wheeled over to the door. 
She pulled the door open quickly, not even waiting for Dick's knock.

"Dick!" she exclaimed, and proceeded to wheel into his toe in her haste to reach 
him.

"Ouch," Dick said in mock pain. "If you don't want me here, all you have to do is 
say so. Hit and run isn't really necessary." His smile was bright and sincere as 
he bent down to hug Barbara. "But, since you did, I guess I'll have to hang around 
to file a police report." 

"Oh, you," Barbara slapped his shoulder playfully. "I was worried sick about you 
and all this abuse is the thanks I get?"

Dick released his hug and started to stand. Before he could get too far, Barbara 
grabbed his face in her hands and planted on his lips the most passionate and 
sincere kiss she could muster. Dick sank to his knees in front of Barbara's chair,
and began returning her kiss with equal passion and sincerity. After what seemed 
hours, their lips finally parted.

"Geez, Babs," Dick was thrilled by her welcome, and a little shocked. "If I'd know 
I'd get this kind of welcome I would have made you mad enough to throw things a me 
a long time ago."

"Oh, shut up and let's get inside before the neighbors start to talk." Barbara 
replied, turning her chair she preceded him through the door. "And by the way, 
when was the last time you shaved? I think I've got 'beard' burn." She rubbed her
cheeks and chin, which were indeed a little red.

Dick closed the door behind him. "Well, for your information that wasn't real high 
on my list of priorities. You see, I had this killer headache." Dick walked over 
to Barbara and picked her up in his arms before she could object. "Seems I really 
pissed of this gorgeous woman who has delusions of grandeur about being an all-
star pitcher." Dick carried her to the couch and sat down, with her in his lap.

"Delusions of grandeur, huh?" She gave him a playful tweak on his cheek. "It seems 
to me that I did better that delusions, hard head." Looking Dick in the eye, her 
tone turned serious.

"Dick, I really am sorry." Her eyes welled with tears. "I was just...just so...I 
mean hell, I had ~joked~ about that very thing as if it was the most impossible 
thing that could happen. I didn't mean to hurt you. I wouldn't intentionally hurt 
you for the world." Her tears began to fall.

Dick brushed her tears away with his hand then gently kissed the rest from her 
cheeks as they continued to fall. "No, I'm the one that's sorry. I should have 
found a better way to tell you." Looking down in shame, he added. "I should have
never let it happen in the first place. If I had more self control..."

"Dick," Barbara soothed, lifting his chin till his eyes met hers. "It was a 
mistake. We all make them. And besides that, if I hadn't keep resisting your 
advances, maybe you wouldn't have been so lonely." She smiled at him with honest 
love and affection. "I ~know~ lonely. I might have even given in to the same
temptation...," she bit her lip before finishing her statement, "if that
situation was even an option for me."

Dick wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him in a tight embrace. With 
her head laid his shoulder, he gently nuzzled his cheek against her forehead. 
"Babs, I don't see you that way." His voice was gently and sincere. But his words
cut.

"You have every option that you had before...before you were shot. You're still 
the same vibrant and full of life woman I fell in love with the first time I laid 
eyes on you so many years ago. I wish with all my heart that you could see 
yourself through my eyes. When I look at you I don't see a cripple, half a woman,
a liability, or any other such nonsense."

Barbara tensed at Dick's words. Tears once again fell from her eyes, as he said 
the words that continually echoed through her mind at all times.

"When I look at you, I see a wondrous woman. I see someone who fought so very hard 
to hold onto life, when so many others might have given up in despair. I see the 
same beautiful face and smile that has taken my breath away every time I've
ever seen you. I see the same spirit and fire, the same love and compassion,
the same sensual and sexy woman that has kept me in love with you all these
years."

"Yeah, I'm real sexy all right." Barbara mumbled against his shoulder, bitterness 
in her voice. "Tell me that when I ask you to carry me to the bathroom or to check 
my catheter bag."

Dick took her by the shoulders and gently twisted her so she was looking directly 
at him. "I would ~kill~ for you to ask me to do any of those things. I long for
you to let me in close enough to ask me to do those things for you. I love
you, Barbara Gordon. I love everything about you." Dick swallowed, trying
to find the words to make her see what was in his heart. His soft blue
eyes pleading silently for her to understand.

"I think your the most sexy woman alive. The ~only~ thing that keeps me from 
taking you in my arms and showing you just how sexy you still are, is that you've 
made it clear that you don't want me to. I would never force anything on you
that you didn't want, but you've got to believe that ~I want you~.
I want you so badly sometimes I think I'll explode. There is ~nothing~
about you that is less than 100% woman."

"But, Dick," Barbara weakly protested. "We can't even..."

"We can't even what? Make love the way we used to? Maybe not, but that doesn't 
mean that we can't make love. Yes, things are different now, but that's all. Just 
because we might have to adjust our way of doing things, doesn't mean we shouldn't
do anything at all." Dick brought her back against him into his embrace,
lightly brushing her hair as he continued.

"And even if it were true that we couldn't have a physical relationship, that's 
not why I'm in love with you." Smiling more at his thoughts than at her, he 
continued. "I mean, lets get real, we haven't had an intimate relationship for 
over six years and I love you more today than I did back then, if that's 
possible."

Barbara remained leaning against him, but she lifted her head enough to look him 
in the face. "Okay, Grayson, I thought Bruce said you were going to be all right. 
Now your talking just plain 'head trauma' balderdash."

"No, I'm not. And for the record, my head is just fine, thank you." Dick said 
firmly. This time he did ~not~ intend to lose or abdicate this argument. This time 
he was going to win.

"Now, I'm not saying it would be easy ~if~ those were the circumstances. But there 
is no point in even discussing what I might or might not be able to deal with,
when its not even an issue. There is absolutely no reason you can't...we
can't have a vibrant and active sex life. And there's even a good possibility
you can have children, if that's what you want. I've checked into it."

"Oh, you have," Barbara raised her eyebrows at him.

"Yes, I have, little Miss I've Got The Market Cornered On Research." Dick's eyes 
twinkled. "I 'appropriated'" Dick guiltily cleared his throat, "a copy of your 
medical files, and from what I've been able to gather, you can be the most 
actively sexual woman you want to be. The key words in there being 'that you want
to be'. Nothing is holding you back, except you."

"Dick, you just don't understand." Barbara pleaded with him. "I can't...I 
can't...anymore. It wouldn't be the same."

"No, it wouldn't. But who says it won't be better? Did you ever think of that?"

Dick was serious and she knew it. Could he possible be satisfied with her? With 
her broken body? Could she really give him the fulfillment he deserved? Could she 
ever believe in herself that way again?

"No," she whispered. "No, I haven't."

Dick's heart leapt into his throat in exhilaration. He was winning! He was 
actually winning this argument. For once she was actually listening to what he was 
saying, not just the words that were coming out of his mouth. He tried to steady 
his optimism, she could turn on him quickly, and he knew it.

"Well, don't you think it's about time that you did? Give yourself a chance, 
Babs." His heart ached over the words he was about to say, but he had to say them. 
"Even if it you don't want to love me, give yourself the chance to love someone.
Give yourself the chance to be truly happy. You owe yourself that. You
~deserve~ that."

"There goes that 'head wound' gibberish again." Her voice was weakly scolding, but 
her eyes told him he had won. She was surrendering. White flag and all. "Who else 
could even come close to knocking you out of the top spot in my heart? I love you, 
Richard Grayson. I love you."

"I love you, too, sweetheart. I really do."

"I know you do, I've always known. But I just didn't feel....." Her sentence 
remained unfinished as Dick's index finger firmly pressed against her lips.

"Hush, that's already been settled and we're not going back there again." He 
looked sadly at her, wishing with all his heart that they could just forget the 
rest. But they couldn't. There was still a lot more ground to be covered before he
could be secure in the fact that she indeed wanted him back in her life.

"Besides, there's another discussion we need to have." His eyes pleaded with her 
to understand. Pleaded with her not to reject him.

"The baby?" Barbara asked. But the look in his eyes told her she had the right 
answer. 

"Yes." Dick swallowed hard and looked away from her. He could not look her in the 
eyes, his shame and fear were to great.

"Dick, I said I love you and I mean it." Barbara knew his concerns and wanted to 
ease his mind. He was not going to lose her again. She was not going to lose him 
again. "I know that this baby is important to you. As part of the man I love,
it's important to me, too. I also know that you are going to be the best father 
ever." She kissed his cheek lightly. "It wouldn't really be any different if you 
already had a child, like from a previous marriage or something. It happens all 
the time. This one's just not quite done yet, is all."

Dick knew she was trying her best to be supportive, but it just wasn't that 
simple. "But it's not the same. Until the baby is born, my only contact is going 
to be with Helena. I don't want to hurt you by seeing her. But, the fact is that I 
will have to see her from time to time. And I want to be there for the delivery,
if she'll let me. I want to be there for my child, and yes, a for her,
too. I can't ask you to deal with that."

"First off, that's not something you have to ask me to deal with. I know it won't 
be the easiest thing in the world, but for you, nothing is too unbearable. I would 
be more upset if you didn't want to be there. And second, Helena?" Barbara
raised her eyebrow at him.

"See, that's another thing. You know I slept with 'Huntress' and that she's 
carrying my child. There's no way to keep her secret identity from you if you and 
I are together." Dick finally looked at her, guilt registered plainly in his face 
and eyes. "And there's no way to keep yours from her. Even Bruce acknowledged as
much, in reference to himself. She'll know 'Barbara Gordon' for the same
reasons, on top of the fact that she knows I'm in love with 'Oracle' so,
whala," Dick waved his hands through the air in the typical 'whala' fashion,
"everyone knows everything all of a sudden." His voice sank into the deepest
caverns of regret. "I don't have the right to do that to you."

"She knows your in love with me?" Barbara was shocked by this revelation.

"Yes, she does." Dick whispered. God, how was he going to tell Barbara what he'd 
done. But he couldn't ~not~ tell her. That would be a mistake that would 
definitely come back to haunt him later. Besides, he had already promised himself
that he wasn't ever going to lie to Barbara, not even a lie by omission.
"She told me she knew when I talked to her the other night."

Barbara sensed the rising tension in both Dick's voice and his touch. There was 
something else he hadn't yet told her and she could tell he was scared. Really 
scared. But she also knew that he would tell her at his own pace, so she did not 
push. She prepared herself for the worst. In her mind she kept repeating to 
herself ~I love him no matter what. I love him no matter what...~

"I went over to her apartment to...to...ask her," Dick hesitated, closing his eyes 
tightly, part of him hoping he would wake up from this dream, the other part 
refusing to believe it was only a dream, since Barbara had finally given in to 
him. "I didn't want my child to be born a bastard." Tears had finally welled in 
his eyes, his fear filling the entire room like a heavy vapor. "Barbara, I asked
her to marry me."

"I know," came a reassuring whisper into his ear.

Stunned, Dick turned to face her. "You know? How could you know?" His mind whirled 
faster and faster. "Bruce wouldn't...." His eyes popped open as he thought of 
another possibility that shocked him more than he already was. "She...she didn't
call you?"

"Why would she call me? Confusion rang in her voice. "And, Bruce didn't say 
anything." Barbara hurried to keep Dick from jumping to the wrong conclusion. For 
the past few days she had noticed a difference in Bruce, in Dick and Bruce, but
hadn't had a chance to find out what had happened. Whatever it was, Dick
was happier in his relationship with Bruce than she had seen him in years,
and she wasn't going to let that disintegrate over something that wasn't
true. "He didn't have to. I ~know~ you, Dick. I know you so well sometimes
it scares me. And I know that you would not let your child be born without
a father." With a small chuckle, she brushed the hair away from his eyes.
"In fact, I you hadn't asked her, ~then~ I would have been shocked."

"She said no," Dick whispered, still in a daze trying to comprehend what was 
happening around him. He had expected anger, fury, hurt. Anything but this.

"Well, she better have said no, Mr. Grayson. 'Cause if you were here making out 
with me while you were engaged to her, I might really have to get rough with you." 
Barbara smiled, wondering herself how she could be so understanding. "And if that
didn't kill you, I would just have to call her and tell her what you were
doing."

"And by the way, your not off the hook yet." Her tone turned serious, but not 
angry. "What did you mean by 'she knows you're in love with Oracle'? And, I 
repeat, why would she call me?"

Dick sighed. At least she wasn't mad. Yet.

"Well, she might have called you because she told me she would if I didn't, how 
did she put it, 'get my exceptionally cute ass in gear and get together with 
you'." Dick continued on without waiting for a response. He felt like he was a kid
jumping into the deep end of a pool for the first time. Just grab your nose and 
take a flying leap, come what may.

"It seems that ~everyone~ knows we're in love with each other. Everyone except us 
that is. She said that she wanted someone to love her like I love you, and that 
she knew I never could." Dick felt himself blush. "She wants us to be the perfect
little happily married couple so our child will know how it should be done."

"She said that?" Barbara was totally flabbergasted.

"Yes." Dick resigned. "Her, and Bruce, and Tim. And not too long ago, Donna, and 
Wally, and even Kory. And probably everyone else in the known universe. Oh, and by 
the way, Dinah's now on that list, too." He felt he should at least give her a 
heads up about that so she wouldn't get caught off guard by some snide comment. 
Their relationship, if it did in fact develop further, was not going to be a 
secret for long.

"It seems that our love life, or lack there of, or possibility of, has been the 
ranking soap opera throughout the hero community. I'll even bet Roy is giving odds 
on 'if they will' and 'when they will'." Dick hugged her closer, feeling the 
relief of getting a world of worry off his shoulders. "You don't know how hard 
it's been to have everyone I know keep telling me what I was feeling and
what I should do about it. It was like there was a committee set up for the sole 
purpose of running my love life."

Barbara stoked his hair lovingly. Hadn't she felt the same defensive impulse just 
yesterday when her dad mentioned how close he thought she and Dick had become? And 
he was her father. Having to listen to so many people give their interpretation
of what he should do and who he should be doing it with had to have been
irritating as hell. Dick didn't like to be pushed anymore that she did.
Especially when it came to personal things.

~Is this what he's been dealing with all this time? And being so very lonely on 
top of that. No wonder he took advantage of the opportunity Huntress gave him. The 
pressure had to be building to the point it was either do something or explode.~
She felt the guilt begin to rise from her gut. She thought she had been protecting 
herself, and him, by constantly refusing his advances. But in reality, now it just 
seemed like cruelty instead of protection.

She snuggled close to him and for what seemed an eternity, they both just held 
each other. Their minds working through all the things that had been thrown at 
them in such a short period of time.

***

It had been a horrendous day. A fire drill and a full scale food fight in the 
cafeteria. On days like today, she wondered why she even tried. But it was over 
now. Lost in her thoughts she didn't hear the approaching footsteps from behind.
As she reached for the car door handle, a voice from behind startled her
and she whirled around defensively.

"Helena, may I speak with you a moment?" The deep baritone voice spoke with 
authority, even though it was a question.

She frowned at the man in front of her. Her brain was telling her everything about 
him was familiar, but she just could get a grip on who he was. "Do I know you, 
sir? Your voice seems familiar but I don't recogn....." She stopped mid word. Her
jaw fell open. Recognition hit her with the force of a sledge hammer.

"Bruce? Bruce Wayne?" she asked hesitantly.

Bruce gave an almost sheepish grin. He hadn't taken into consideration the fact, 
that while she now knew who he was, she had never actually met him. Not as Bruce 
Wayne anyway.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." He explained, nothing in his manner 
suggested anything but total control. "I would like to speak with you for a 
moment, if you can spare a moment?"

She waved her hand in the direction of her car. "No problem. Would you care to 
step into my office?" She and Bruce both took a seat and closed the doors. It was 
a windy day. The car's interior was soothingly warm in contrast to the slight nip 
present in the air outside.

"What can I do for you, Bruce." Helena said his name as if it were a foreign word. 
This was Batman. The Batman. And she had finally gotten into the club. Not exactly 
the way she would have planned. But, hey, sometimes you have to take it the way
you can get it.

"I just wanted to give you this." Bruce reached into his coat pocket and handed 
her a small card. "I know Dick gave you all the possible ways to contact him, but 
that still doesn't change the fact that it would take time for him to get here 
from Bludhaven." Bruce paused, knowing that he had to do this, but still not
totally comfortable with the situation.

"If for some reason you can't contact Dick, or you need something more immediate 
than he could provide, do not hesitate to contact me." Out of habit, Bruce's voice 
took on an almost threatening air. "I don't have to tell you how important it
is that this information be kept confidential."

"I know." Helena smiled at him. "And I really appreciate this. I know you didn't 
~have~ to do this."

"Yes. Yes I did." Bruce whispered. "Dick is my son. Maybe not biologically, but in 
~every~ other way. And as such, I love him and will do anything I can to protect
him." Bruce looked deep in Helena's eyes, his eyes saying he would not stand for 
Dick to be hurt. "That makes the baby you are carrying my grandchild."

Sensing Bruce's defensiveness, Helena put her hand on his arm. "I care for Dick 
and would never do anything to hurt him. No matter what, he will always be the 
father of this baby. I also know that he loves someone else and that what happened 
between us was just two people reaching the lowest point of loneliness at the same
time. We didn't plan for it to happen. We both just needed something, someone,
and we happened to find each other at just the wrong time."

She gave Bruce's arm a squeeze and waited till he returned her look. "I know how 
much giving me this information cost you. It also proves just how much you love 
Dick and will love this child. I want both of you to be part of his life and
I will do everything possible to make that possible."

"Thank you, Helena." Bruce answered, hesitantly placing his hand on hers. "And I 
want you to know that we are here for you. There's so much of this that you will 
have to go through alone, which is by no means fair. But for the rest of the
time, we are here for you and the child." He opened the car door and prepared
to exit.

"Bruce?" Helena asked, a perky lightness in her voice. "Did he call her yet?"

Bruce couldn't help but grin a little, reflecting on the events of the past couple 
days. "You need to talk to him about that. It wouldn't be proper for us to be 
discussing that subject." His voice was steady and noncommittal, but his eyes 
sparkled with the hope that Dick and Barbara were working things out. "Good-bye,
Helena. And again, if you need anything...." He was cut off by Helena.

"I know, I know, just give a shout and you'll come running. Good-bye, Bruce, and 
thank you." Bruce gave a slight nod, closed the car door, and left Helena alone 
with her thoughts. Bruce may have verbally denied any knowledge of Dick's 
activities, but his eyes gave away the fact that Dick had indeed called her.

"Well, kid, it looks like we're going to get your Dad married off yet." Starting 
the car, she smiled as she drove off.

-Continued-