On Shoulders Broad

***

"Chana!"

A rapid succession of insistent, unsteady footsteps warns her that she is not alone just before a small body makes a hard impact with her legs. Surprised by the force of it, Chiana tries not to fall over, taking the small boy with her.

"D! What are you doing here?"

"Hide from mama!" He squeals it and nuzzles against her, arms wrapped securely.

Chiana looks at this little boy and wishes. Not for children or marriage, but for the sheer tide of feeling and determination that made this little boy possible. For the chances and the pushing his parents did, have done, will do again, just so that this little boy can come flying at her down the corridor, happy and safe in the knowledge that she will catch him.

Regret that she had that, if for a little while, and let it go willingly, hits her harder then the little boy. But she shakes her head, shakes it off. That has no place in this moment.

"Who's my cute little frelnack?"

D giggles at her, clutching her leg like he'll never let go. She smiles down at him fondly, and thinks that this little one is not so bad. And he loves her.

There are so few left who do love her.

And as she does everytime she says the child's name, her heart breaks a little for the man who's not there. The man who would love his namesake to hezema and beyond.

The man who is dead and buried on a planet far, far away.

She doesn't want to be defined by death. It is too much of a burden, and she's never been one for responsibility. But the memory of his face, smiling and laughing and being so welcoming, even after everything...

Chiana still mourns him, but more than that, she misses him.

"Come on, little D." Swinging the little body up and around, she twirls John and Aeryn's son over her head and laughs as his chubby happy hands clap together. "I want to tell you a story."

-fin-

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