Title: Reality Best Served Cold 
 
Author: A.j. 
 
Rating: PG-ish 
 
Spoilers: General Season 3. (Bishop is mentioned and a vague plot point, as 
is her reason for being present.) 
 
Summary: Sometimes, a banana is just a banana. But other times, it's not. 
 
*** 
 
She's always hated bananas. 
 
It was a strange sort of thing. Alex loved squishy foods that she could play 
with. Something that rolled around her mouth that she could push through her 
teeth with her tongue. She'd grossed out many a boyfriend with that little 
proclivity. Not that they complained after she dug the thigh- high boots out 
of the back of the closet and called them 'Mr.' a few times. 
 
God, men were easy. Twenty years of dating history had driven that little 
truth rather deeply home. 
 
She's also a rather large fan of naturally sweet foods. Like most women of 
the modern world, she has a taste for chocolate. Mood swings were made that 
much more bearable with a square of the Cadbury's chocolate she had a friend 
in Twickenham ship to her every couple months. Still, refined sugar was okay, 
but it was honey and dates and pears and raw cane sugar that had her drooling 
in her sleep. 
 
But bananas? They were a strange combination of the two. Just the exact 
balance of squishy and sweet that made her normally iron stomach turn and run 
screaming. 
 
Normally. 
 
Sitting on her big squishy couch in her tiny too-crowded apartment, Alex 
stared at the yellow fruit, still in its peel. Before today, she hadn't 
actually touched a banana in years. Well, outside helping Mrs. Rudoski pick 
up the contents of the grocery bag that had split four months ago. 
 
Several sharp kicks in the direction of her abdomen reminded her that it 
wasn't her craving this thing. 
 
Yeah, that was just a fitting metaphor for her life these days. 
 
She sighed and began to peel. 
 
It had seemed like such a good idea at the time. Help her big sister realize 
her life-long dream of having a baby. Give up a year physically, and back 
quietly away only to attend birthday parties and the occasional Sunday 
dinner. She'd read all the emotional psychobabble pamphlets and books that 
had been shoved her way. She was fully prepared to be completely unprepared 
at how hard giving the lump away was going to be. 
 
But right now? The lump was making her crave bananas and solely responsible 
for the fact that her partner hadn't actually talked to her in three weeks. 
 
Alex glared at her banana. She was going to have to eat it. The smell was 
making the 'Alex' part of her brain twitch, while the hormones controlled by 
her niece or nephew (okay, how was it fair that she wanted to know, but her 
sister and brother-in-law didn't so the doctor didn't say a word? It was her 
womb...) was making her mouth drool. 
 
She wiped the back of her hand across her mouth and glared some more. 
 
Okay, so it really wasn't Bobby's fault that he was being a complete ass. He 
and Bishop had been working really hard the last few months. Plus, while 
Bobby could be as warm and adaptive as hot jello poured into a mold, he did 
tend to compartmentalize things. He had a job to do and, for the time being, 
she wasn't part of that. Not fully. 
 
She really shouldn't be hurt. 
 
Quickly, she chomped down on the banana and chewed furiously. Swallow. Bite. 
Chew. 
 
It was a stupid, and girly, and probably very hormonal reaction to a rather 
unique situation. It didn't help that the last few weeks had been pretty hard 
physically. The... last pregnancy had been a long time ago when her body had 
been a lot younger and hadn't been thrown through quite so many doors or down 
so many flights of stairs. And she'd forgotten how fifteen plus pounds on 
your middle fiddled with your center of balance. Just last week, she'd had to 
sit down for ten minutes after spending half an hour at the copier. 
 
Cautiously, she squished some banana through her teeth. Nope. She still 
detested them. 
 
Rationally, she was fine that Bobby was off scaring the new recruit into 
hero-worshipping spasms of delight. It was extremely funny from her 
perspective. And in a rather unprofessional stint last week, she and Deakins 
had a gossip and laugh in the poor girl's honor. Bishop was a decent 
detective and given a couple years to season, she'd be damn good at her job. 
As it stood now, though... 
 
She did have to give Bobby credit. He hadn't drowned her or even filed a 
complaint. He was coping in the only way he could. By dragging the new girl 
around by the collar and being entirely himself. 
 
Irrationally, she wanted him to file that complaint and stop working until 
she'd recuperated from dropping the sprog. And maybe drag her off to Aspen 
for a fun-filled weekend. Possibly declaring that Detective Bishop should be 
burned at the stake, all the while giving her the world's longest foot- rub. 
Ooo. Foot-rub. 
 
Idly, as she bit down on the last of the banana, she wondered if he'd noticed 
that she'd started wearing athletic shoes to work. It was probably damn 
apparent, especially since she only came up to his armpit now. This she had 
learned after getting smashed against him in the elevator two days ago. Being 
short sure was a trial. Then again, she had been smashed up against her 
partner (a fairly attractive man, and oh, had her hormones been reminding her 
how long it had been since the last grossed-out boyfriend) for three minutes. 
And on some things he really wasn't that observant, bless his soul. 
 
Still. She was being rational. Mostly. And the kid was due in a couple weeks. 
Then she'd laze about her apartment, being depressed because she wasn't 
reaping the sleepless benefits of a brand new baby for a couple more weeks 
after that. 
 
And then everything would be normal again. 
 
Alex sighed and dropped the peel in the wastebasket next to her couch. She 
got through the banana. She'd get through this. She and Bobby would be fine 
and back to their Dynamic Duo impression in no time at all. That's not to say 
he wouldn't get his ass soundly kicked for ignoring her the last few weeks, 
but then a girl had to have some fun, right? 
 
Alex smiled, just a bit evil in the darkening apartment, and flipped on her 
tv. 
 
-fin-